Toddlers and restaurants

This morning I read an article entitled Non, non and non: Discipline and three-course meals on economist.com that struck a familiar cord. Enter the two-year-old into a Parisian cafe. French customers eating at tiny tables nearby (about 3mm away from your own table since there isn't much room in there) glare down from their Le Monde to give you a sly, almost threatening, look. The look says "you better be able to control that child while I sit here and sip my cafe and read my paper!"

I can proudly say that I am one of the moms who can control my toddler. He was raised to sit calmly and quietly while enjoying his hot chocolate and croissant. Usually a small toy car can hold him off while we wait for our meal. Other times, we rely on i-touch toddler apps. It's not always perfect, of course because he can get frustrated and antsy, but he's sat through (and enjoyed!) meals at michelin-starred restaurants, our regular crepe cafe, among others. One day, some friends invited us to an Indian restaurant near Opera, and they were shocked to see that my son, then barely two years old, sat through the whole meal reading books, chatting, and flirting with our friends. None of them has children, and they told me that they were inspired by our dynamic and were excited to see that it is, in fact, possible to take toddlers out to dinner if you know how to teach then to just chill.

Culture shock: a cafeteria at Disney World. I've talked a bit about the unhealthy options available at US sporting events. Well, the same goes for theme parks. Sugar, preservatives, sodium, fat, more sugar, and yes, more fat. That's what there is to be had at Disney World. We were there over Christmas break and even though we had a wonderful time, after three days of hot dogs, corn dogs, pizza, fish n chips, and coke, I was ready to give my kingdom for an asparagus, or anything green. At Sea World, I was able to find a chicken caesar salad, and the closest thing it came to green was wilted lettuce with the salad. However, Parisians give their kids sugar, and they give their kids fat. My son loved his hot chocolate and croissant - how much more butter can you get? And if sugar makes kids hyper, then why can Parisian parents get their kids to stay still, while the parents at Disney World cafeterias sat there while their kids ran circles around the table?

Parents that were sitting next to us at these theme park cafeterias had terrible table manners, and their attitude at the table was completely different than the kind of restaurant culture you'd find in Paris. In Paris, the meal is the center of attention, each dish is considered and appreciated, and eaten with cutlery. It's harder to see a toddler in the US using cutlery than it is in Paris. In the US, parents usually cut up chunks of food and place it on a placemat, or simply on the table in front of the child, and the child grabs the chunks and stuffs it into his/her mouth. My son has always used a plate, and he's been manipulating spoons and forks ever since he was six months old. Granted it's not perfect, but his eating etiquette is far more pleasant to look at than what we saw in those cafeterias.

Yes, it can be difficult to encourage a two-year-old to sit still through a meal. But if you create a comfortable dining experience and explain to a child that a meal is an important place for a family to come together and enjoy delicious food and take the time to point out the lovely cutlery, plates, flower arrangements, and also the flavors and details of each ingredient, then they are far more likely to appreciate the meal for what it is, and stay still.

Practice makes perfect. Take your toddler out for a 15-minute hot chocolate break at a nearby cafe, and start there. Bring a book, enjoy the drink, and then leave. Talk to them about the restaurant, the decoration, the people, the table, and talk to them about anything at all. I guarantee this will make the experience far more enjoyable for everyone involved.

food available at Disney's Animal Kingdom

food available at Disney's Animal Kingdom

food available at Paris's Rolland Garros - "legumes" means vegetables

drinks available at Paris's Rolland Garros - tropicana fruit juice and sparkling water

Cafe culture

Tomorrow's the big day. My first day of classes at Le Cordon Bleu Paris. It's actually orientation day, so I'll get my uniform, equipment, schedule, etc. I was full of nervous energy today and cleaned the whole apartment. I'm not talking about a general Sunday cleaning, I'm talking about wiping light switches and under every conceivable surface, book, vase, shoe, and everything in between. You all know what I mean - I'm sure everyone has experienced this kind of instant-gratification-seeking cleaning frenzy before a big day.


On my mind is something more than just my first day of culinary school, however. I've also been thinking about where this blog is headed. Even though it's been successful at presenting my gushy, lovely, fluffy, and marshmellowy feelings about my first weeks in Paris, it's going to get more down-and-dirty. My sister, who has always been the person who gives me the best constructive criticism, told me that it was all fine and dandy to talk about hot chocolate at Les Deux Magots in St Germain, but that I needed to get to deeper anthropological stuff. She threw a good idea at me, and said: "what came first: the chicken, or the egg. Did cafe culture influence intellectuals, or did intellectuals influence cafe culture."


You may remember my reference to how Les Deux Magots was a favorite hang-out for Picasso, Hemingway, Sartre, among others. Cafes like these seem to have always encouraged stimulating conversations. They're cozy, and they're the best places to people-watch. Most Parisian cafes are strategically located at corners of intersections, and tables and chairs are placed facing the sidewalks and streets. 


It seems that every time we go to one of these cafes, something happens that reminds me that cafe culture is sacred, and important things happen there. Movements are created, proposals are made, and there is more than just coffee brewing in the kitchen. 


One day, the three of us were sitting at our table, and noticed a woman sitting at the table next to ours. She was not French, nor British, nor was she from the US. She was speaking loudly into her telephone and I'm proud to say my toddler was behaving better than she was. She was annoying and loud. The French gentleman next to her, who had a sophisticated aura about him and was an obvious regular, looked up from his Le Monde and yelled to her in French about how rude and uneducated she was. How dare she speak so loudly on a cellular phone at a cafe? He was angry, very angry. And even though his reaction was a bit extreme, I had to agree with him. She was disturbing the thinking caps and brainstorming waves that fly around Les Deux Magots.


Another visit to Les Deux Magots was just as enthralling. We sat next to a table of what looked like very wise, older intellectuals. They were speaking a mixture of French and Hebrew, and I imagined they were part of some kind of philosophical society, meeting to discuss this week's theory. A woman joined them at one point, and she seemed to mesmerize the other gentlemen with her take on the conversation. Other men joined the group, and all it took was for their comrades to pull up yet another chair to participate in the conversation. It was like being transported to the time of the existentialist movement and its birth at Les Deux Magots. I could totally picture it.


When we're in the US, where there is not a cafe culture (other than in perhaps NYC and a few other places), my husband yearns for them. [I'd like to pause and make a distinction between cafe culture European style, and Starbucks. It ain't the same thing.] In most of Europe and definitely Eastern Europe as well, you can sit and have a cup of coffee and people watch all year round. Even in frigid winters, space heaters and plastic tarps help cafe culture survive the dead of winter. It seems that here, people look forward to going to the cafe - it is where business meetings take place, where lovers meet, friends catch-up, writers write, thinkers think, and where people seem to create their own sacred, protected space but in the presence of others.


So back to my original question: Do cafes lead to intellect and creativity, or do intellect and creativity lead to cafes?


If you've read this far into this entry, then you probably care about what I'm talking about. If so, please tell me what you think.

P.S. Don't worry - I'll continue to include fluffy, pretty, gushy entries about my life in Paris.